Before reading this book, I wasn’t particularly familiar with the definition of codependency - I knew it had something to do with dysfunctional relationships, but that was where it ended.
The author, Melody Beattie, defines a codependent as the following: “A codependent person is one who has let another person’s behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person’s behavior.”
In my opinion, “obsessed” is a pretty strong word here. I think the more accurate description of a codependent is that codependents are often in one sided relationships - where one person takes, and the other person keeps giving - hoping that at some point the “taker” will appreciate it.
For many of us with autoimmune and chronic health conditions, we are often the “giver” in these relationships - giving to the point where it negatively affects our health.
When interacting with these “takers” as I’ll call them, we may ask ourselves questions such as, “How could they be so selfish? Can’t they see how much their behavior hurts me? Why is it always all about them? How come they don’t get it?”
Overtime, if we aren't able to voice our frustrations, and instead repress these feelings, it can contribute to the development of chronic health issues.
Letting go and recovering from codependency requires first recognizing where these relationships may exist in your life and that this person (or people) will never change their behavior. Instead, all you can control is your interactions with them.
Although I enjoyed this book, I felt that the author could be a bit long winded at times, so if you need to skip ahead now and then, go for it. Despite that, the overall message of the book is very beneficial in identifying relationships which may not be contributing positively to your health and wellbeing.
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